remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
