escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize