dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
