capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
