I can feel you judging me through the phone.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Randomize
