I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
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