i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize