are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
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