we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Randomize
