He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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