Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
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