Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
