Sponge bath it is.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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