I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Will exercising make me less horny?
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
