I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Randomize
