anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
