I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
