I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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