I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
