dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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