You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
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