Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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