Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Randomize
