WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
