It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
