I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
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