stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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