So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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