Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
