Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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