How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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