why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Randomize
