dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Randomize
