Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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