Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
