I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
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