If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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