Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
