she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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