Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
We were destined to go to rehab together
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize