it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
