Non-Jews are for practice
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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