Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
