We named our party play list daddy issues
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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