how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Randomize
