can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Watching her eat just hurts me
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
