I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
