For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
