why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Randomize