I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
I still have a little drunk in my system
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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