Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
