mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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