Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
