Sponge bath it is.
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Randomize
