I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I hate all girls vehemently.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
His nipple licking is glorious
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