its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
