There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
