i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
