dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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