I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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