We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
