I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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