We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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