Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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