What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Randomize
