She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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